just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
