Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
