i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So squirting runs in the family.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
