Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you didnt know i had herpes?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
