well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
