How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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