All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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