Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
