Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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