you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize