i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
