You just made me feel so damn special
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's shark week go big or go home
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
