what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
