I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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