What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
