we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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