You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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