you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
