I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
this just has baby written all over it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
