I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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