she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
