is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My ATM looks so different sober.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
