I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize