You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
