I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
