Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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