I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
