you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
