hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
