if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
