i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize