This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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