Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
