Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
