He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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