She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You are a genius and a whore.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
