I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
