I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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