You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
