uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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