..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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