So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
home. puking in laundry basket.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just high enough for therapy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize