Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
