Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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