you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
