Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
