Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize