You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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