I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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