No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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