The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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