Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
