Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
