If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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