You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
