super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize