yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
