i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he shaved USA in his pubs
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
