David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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