i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
