Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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