oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
