Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think people are normalizing furries
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
