Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
