I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
