Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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