YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
